Friday, 3 August 2012

It takes a village

I read a post over here ages ago about having {or not} a village and I started over-thinking it.

Then I stumbled across the series of It Takes A Village posts here {which I love} and then everywhere I went people's villages kept popping up in conversation.

Seems a lot of people {I bump into} are searching for {and pondering, and building} their village.

I was just doing a whole lot of lamenting over my percieved lack of a village. 

But it turns out I do have {always had} a village! A great one. No lack whatsoever.

I just got lost in a social-media trance and wanted a cable-speed village delivered to me before I even thought to look around {stupid and selfish, huh? A whole lot less than grateful, I know...}

It took me a while {wondering, whinging and pondering, and journalling pen-and-paper style} to get to this realisation.

Until I saw my village {my villagers, actually}. In front of me. Surrounding me. And online. 

We're not a big bustling city crowd, but there's loads of personality {friendship, understanding and love} going on.

What I noticed {after journalling} was that I'd constructed a protective high fence around myself.

Letting my villagers in {but only so close}.

Thanking my villagers for their offers of help {but thinking I'd be weak if I accepted, and I'd be burderning them too}.

And to top that off I was scared {petrified} to ask {in case the answer might be no}. 

This week I asked {after procrastinating on my question and how it could go for two days}. 

The answer was yes! 

I'm {slowly} taking down that fence {well I've installed a gate anyway}. 

Time to join my villagers. 

I think I've {most definitely} being missing out.

Elisa xx

{Grateful for the village I now realise I've always had! Grateful for the courage to ask, and even more grateful for that yes - love and help given effortlessly! Thank you, thank you, thank you to all my fellow villagers x} 

Tell me about your village! And what are you grateful for this week? 

~ Joining in with the gratitude over at Kidspot's 52 Weeks of Grateful

{image by me via instagram - @withgraceandeve}


  1. Great post Elisa! I'm a bit the same, I have been hurt by so called friends over the years, and built a little protective shield around myself and find it hard to become friends with someone because of it.

    Its great that you reached out and found you had people there to help you :)

    1. Thanks Julie! Yes that fence is most definitely about self protection! Glad I reached out too x

  2. I've got my online village, too, and isn't it great to be able to call on it 24/7!

  3. I have to admit I never imagined finding my village online when I started blogging, but it happened and it is amazing. I love my online village...they are supportive, fun and willing to answer a question or concern at any time. I have an in person village too, a group of like minded mamas.

  4. Great food for thought Elisa - sometimes things are right under your nose and you don't even realise. I'm loving this little online village we have here so far. Such a great sense of community x

  5. What a great take on mothering Elisa. I am a classic for putting up walls around myself... and I also have a fabulous network of family and friends. But heaven forbid I should actually ask them for anything. I'm silly, I know. I guess we all just take time to find our feet and just where we fit. Sounds like you're definitely on your way... and a positive direction at that xo

  6. I am so on yr wave length mama. I was thinking about the village concept this morning when I was reading about the 24/7 child care concept debate. I wrote that at least it's finally being acknowledged that it takes a village to raise a child ... And to support the rest of the family too. Bless u x

  7. I have always found (ALWAYS) that if we have the courage to ask, the answer is almost invariably YES. People really want to be there for each other but these days no one wants to 'impose on others' by asking without first being asked. x

  8. "... I'd constructed a protective high fence around myself.

    Letting my villagers in {but only so close}."

    What you've written here has really struck a chord with me. Time for me to ponder...


  9. bam! got me in one. i am exactly the same, having moved to a new village it is hard not knowing people. but having a kid at school is helpful, and getting over that first scary moment where you make eye contact and engage in a conversation...people are generally actually nice. and helpful. and interesting. you've inspired me to organise a coffee date this week, make a new friend. thanks, and good luck to you too! :)sarah

  10. Oftentimes, I feel so alone that I forget that I'm part of something bigger...a community. Yes, I guess I have been building a fence around me as well. It's time to tear it down. I'm not sure exactly how...

  11. Great post ... sometimes all we have to do is ask. I'm glad to be in your on-line village!

  12. it is not easy to ask and let people in at times. And then to get that support is like a breath of fresh air. xx

  13. so glad you realized you have a village - i could not get by without a village since we have not a single family member here - no one does it 100% alone - be it [parenting, just living or enjoying life...

  14. Wow. I hope you went well with your fence. You sound very perceptive. I wrote about this exact thing last week - here: and also here:

    I think it is one of the most important things for mothers to connect with other people. We need others to help raise our children. Even if we tried, we couldn't parent in isolation. I'll share this on my page. xx


Thank you for your words and support. I'm so glad you stopped by xx