Wednesday, 12 September 2012

To be needed

I am so very aware of how much I am needed right now {by my babies}.

Of course, I am wanted too {but often it feels like need overpowers want}.

I've been trying to explain want and need to my little miss almost-three for weeks.

And I see now it's a fine line between want and need. 

I think sometimes it's just a matter of perspective {in the end}.

In the middle of the night, my baby needs me {my touch, my embrace, my love}.
Or does she want me? My comfort, love and the sweet feeling of the two of close together. Surely she wants that {and loves it too}.

When my little girl burrows her head into my legs and tugs at my top to come dance {or have cuddles on the couch} every single night when I'm preparing dinner, she tells me "I need you, Mummy".

I feel needed, and torn {and sometimes frustrated too}. But really that's wanted, right? She doesn't need me to dance or cuddle.

But isn't that what I really want in the end? To be wanted by my girls, not needed.

Because when they're all grown up and self-sufficient, most of the time they won't need me by their side but if I'm lucky they'll want me.

And I can't help thinking that starts now. {Nurturing them, and seeing want instead of need}.


Want versus need. Do you feel wanted or needed? Is one better than the other? x


  1. It's a very fine line. Sometimes I think to be needed is too much pressure. As in, needing someone implies you can't live without them, & as much as I want to always be there for my babies, I want to know that they could survive without me, if the worst case scenario occurred. So its nice to be wanted, but to be needed scares me a little. X

  2. Very thought provoking Elisa. I also get the 'Mummy I neeeeeed you'. It makes me chuckle, especially when it's said with such conviction for some teeny tiny thing. x

  3. It's a balancing act - like so much of motherhood, isn't it?
    To nurture little ones that don't necessarily NEEEED you there every step of the way, but that WANT to share their lives with you anyway.
    Great question!
    :-) x

  4. I love the idea of Toddler C wanting me rather than needing me.
    At the moment I think that we are in a wanting stage...although I have no doubt that there will continue to be moments of need!

    And I want to be with him too!

  5. Such a gorgeous post. It can be frustrating at times I know, but it all goes by so fast and so quickly.

    Take care and enjoy those precious moments,

    Nina x

  6. Oh Elisa, everything you say here makes perfect sense. I think being there for your babies when they need you, will invariably lead to them wanting you. I guess the two go hand in hand in some ways. I have a friend who unfortunately doesn't spend a lot of quality time with her little girls...and after almost five years of this, they are now not choosing to be with her when the chance arises either. Very sad. Lovely post as always xo

  7. I love it that you are trying to see what's beneath the wants/needs your children are expressing. The way I see it, our children need our love, our attention, to connect with us... sometimes what they are expressing it as wants and we may choose to fill their love cups in different ways. As long as we make sure we fill them up.


Thank you for your words and support. I'm so glad you stopped by xx